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I hope that someone can please help me – I have known my boyfriend and have been on and off with him for the last 16 years and this time we are actually serious about each other and want this to be a real relationship – but for some reason these past few months have been up and down. he started out having to drink all the time when he came over and then I finally ragged on him so much that he stopped. But he smokes more cigarettes than I have ever seen him smoke and his behavior is so off the wall – hyper, bizarre, dissappears for hours and now days at a time. Does any one know if these are signs to cocaine use? I know he is friendly with this slut that is a huge cocaine user.
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This could also be signs that he is trying to forget about his problems whatever they may be.You either need to confront him about his problems and help him solve them and/or you need to reevaluate your relationship and decide if you want to pursue it or terminate it.
I don’t know if this will be any help but I was reading a biography of a lead singer in a rock band that was a cocaine addict and he described a lot of the same behaviors! If you want you should read the biography of Anthony Kiedis. It’s really cool. Good luck with everything!
If you are aware of how much money he has/spends then this is a good indicator. If he is withdrawing large amounts of cash at a time with no clothes or other things to show for it then it COULD be going on drugs.
If you think he is doing coke while around you then he will be off food or able to eat very little as coke suppresses the appetite.
Does he smoke weed? Some coke users smoke weed after a bender to come down and chill out with.
My ex would lie about doing coke and the biggest give away was his random conversation and constant “cold” he had. He lied about having any on him when he came to see me one day and I ended up finding coke residue on top of the loo cistern, in easy reach of my young daughter.
Needless to say I told him to f**k right off.
I would ask him rather than accuse him and see if his problems are something you can help with. If you still suspect and he is lying about it then I would think twice about having a relationship as he needs to sort out his problems before he can commit to you.
Edit: Just read the 2nd answer and I relate to all those behaviours….when in the loo he will also flush lots or run the tap for a while so you can’t hear him snorting. Bank notes that look like they’ve previously been rolled up are a dead give away too.
Sounds like he’s not ready for a commitment. He’s out partying, he’s not at your house because you won’t let him drink there.
I’m a guy and I’ve been down that road before. So unless your willing to let it happen at home he’s gonna do it else ware. He has an addiction. Until he’s willing to stop there not much you can do.
GoodLuck.
16 years wow. That is a long time to be together and not really know each other.
Sounds to me like he has a problem. You need to talk to him and the decide for yourself what is best for you. If he does or you think he has a problem, can you live with it? Can you help him deal with it (if he chooses to deal)? He may be spending time away from you in order to think the relationship out, talking with him will help you to find out.